It was not a great week last week. It culminated in tears on Thursday night. I did not make it in to work on Friday.
That's right. I'm man enough to admit that I cried. It was not the first time since the concussion (third time maybe) and it won't be the last time.
For those of you that don't understand, you've obviously never spent an entire week doubting in your abilities at work and at home. It takes a huge mental and emotional toll and you can only be "strong" for so long before the proverbial camel's back breaks.
I have full support from my supervisor and manager at work, but my pride and self confidence take a pounding each time I have to admit that I can't do something. It has happened a lot lately.
Did I mention that I've been to see a psychotherapist? Quite common for those with a traumatic brain injury, apparently. I was feeling slightly depressed at the end of summer and reached out using resources available to me. I was never suicidal or anything to that extreme. I just needed to talk to someone external to my day to day life. Anyways she says that I'm too hard on myself, trying to meet the already unrealistic expectations that I've set for when I'm functioning at 100%
And I know it's true. It always has been. I fail a lot in my day to day life, but I also accomplish a lot because I aim so high. Right now I need to remember that I'm a superhero to nobody (except maybe our child) and that I need to take it easy on myself.
