I love my kids. I would do anything for them.
Well, it used to be that I'd do anything for them but now it's more like "Unless their health or well-being is at risk, I would do anything for them that won't give me another concussion that could leave me in a vegetative state and as a result, leave my family to fend for themselves." Morbid, but that's my reality.
I want to spend as much time with my kids as I can. I want to teach them all the things that I know. I want to share with them all the things that I love. I want to set a good example that they can follow.
But some days, I wonder what kid of example I'm setting for my kids.
There have been many days when their playfulness and running around has forced me to retreat to the darkness and quiet of the bedroom. Other days, one kid pulls me in one direction and the other kid pulls me in another direction. Seconds later, the mental fatigue kicks in and I'm down for the count. There have been times that I've unnecessarily lost my temper for seemingly innocuous things like leaving toys out or not getting ready for bath. And then I apologize. I hope that these things don't stay with the kids.
Then there are there are the days that I'm thankful that actions speak louder than words. This week, I've been having troubles verbalizing sentences correctly (just ask my colleagues at work). My wife has completed my sentences multiple times while talking to the kids because I was stammering trying to find the right word. had the right first character, but couldn't come up with the rest of the word. Today, I told my youngest to flush his hands and wash the toilet. Judging by his WTF facial expression, I'm not sure that he's ready to master the toilet brush just yet. Just last week, same kid was put on the potty with his bottoms still on!
But there are definitely positives that outweigh the negatives. Yesterday, I was emptying the dishwasher and tried to put a stack of clean plates into the cutlery drawer. My eldest saw that I was upset with myself and he came over to tease me about it and to help empty the rest of the dishwasher. Today, he jumped into my arms at daycare pick up and gave me a huge hug and cuddle.
You know what, maybe daddy is doing all right after all.
