It seems like forever ago that I was seriously injured in a dooring incident. In reality, it's been 10 years to the day. Getting shivers just thinking about it.
(stock photo alert! That is not a picture of me nor an accurate depiction of the dooring)
Ignoring the queue of incomplete posts, I've not spent as much time as I'd like writing over the past few years about the dooring. One my goals was to share information to help others in their recovery, but to be honest I've been having trouble finding the right words (leading to the queue of incomplete posts).
But that's not to say that I haven't progressed in the past few years. Nothing could be further from the truth. My last post occurred during a crazy time in the world - the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. My family and I weathered the pandemic alongside everyone else. We caught the virus several times and we recovered, seemingly unscathed.
But in a strange twist, the COVID-19 pandemic might have been the best thing that could have happened for my recovery. It gave me an excuse to isolate away from social situations. It gave me the opportunity to ratchet down my intensity at work since, well... we couldn't work for a while. I could stay home, away from the hustle and bustle (not to mention the terrible, terrible lighting) at the office. The pandemic gave me quiet. It gave me relative calm. It gave my brain a chance to heal. I spent a ton of time with the people I love the most. The ones that have provided me the most inspiration and support.
So here we are on the 10th anniversary of the incident and I've got some great news to share. I'm probably as recovered as I'm going to get.
But hang on... I've totally undersold the magnitude of that statement.
Over the past 10 years, my future was continually in doubt. I had no idea what my brain was going to be capable of down the road. Would I even be able to work effectively again? Would I be able to perform simple day to day tasks like doing the dishes. Could I still be a great dad?! I was led to believe that the answer to these and similar questions would be no. That I would never totally get back to the capacity that I was at before. But in a recurring theme, I can happily say that the naysayers were wrong. In the past two or three years, I've regained confidence in myself and have changed careers. Then my team lead left for other opportunities. "Just after the accident me" might have rolled over and cried (literally). But over the past year, I've instead been able to withstand the intensity and pressures of being a heavily relied-upon team lead at work. I've even filled in for my manager in critical situations. And I've been able to do this 90% of the time without my post-concussion syndrome bringing me down. Do I still get recurrences? Yes, for sure. But I know my limits and also how to work with them and around them. Even as recently as a few years ago, I could never have imagined that I'd be able to be where I am today. And to top it off, I've been biking regularly to work again.
But wait, there's more! Recently, I've been able to:
- sit down on a bus with no ill effects from the jolting. Still hate you, Invero.
- run for the bus, catch the bus, and feel fine!
- wean off any TBI related prescription medication
- endure a LRT delay with a packed platform. Meh. No big deal.
- go snowboarding! I've missed my snowboard. Used to go a few times weekly. Then concussion happened. And kids. But the kids have also tried the slopes, so...
- deal with the inconvenience of a prolonged power outage. Picture this - young kids, no power, an upright freezer full of slowly thawing food that would end up distributed to locations across the city... sounds like a recipe for head explosion!
- go to Great Wolf Lodge with the family. Yeah, it's loud and the rides swirl around and around and around. Did I mention that it's really loud there? And highly overstimulating.
- Nerf Wars birthday party for my kid at Archery Games... as a player! (and parent, I guess).
- take the kids to Flying Squirrel. Remember loud and overstimulating?
- drive to Quebec City
- survive a kitchen reno. It's gorgeous and was totally worth it!
And finally, you probably didn't see this one coming - I was invited into the home of the Guy That Doored Me. In fact, he and his family been over here as well. Recall that we've had several awkward moments over the past 4 years... Our boys are friends and I'm happy and ok with it. Birthday parties at our place, birthday parties at theirs. I'm pretty sure they know who I am but we've danced around the topic so far. Honestly, I'd like to ask them how they are doing but the timing has never been right. I've only considered the impact the incident had on my life in my writing - but I'm genuinely hopeful that they have been able to live their lives without too many negative impacts and stress as a result of the dooring. They seem like good, kind people.
Despite all that I've been able to do, I'll still have to keep an eye on long term effects. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I'm also 10 years older than when this saga first began. I've started wearing prescription glasses, but again - that age thing.
I still think about playing recreational sports like ultimate frisbee but the reality is I should probably stay on the sidelines because there's no playing halfway for me - it's all or nothing. Not to brag, but I was the guy that would run downfield for a long pass and lay out for it and snag the disc with the end of my fingertips, while doing a safety roll and protecting the disc like I would any of my children. All that to say is that my decade or two of playing sports definitely had its fill of strains and sprains and head knocks.
At the risk of rhyming off some clichés, I feel like I've come out of this more resilient and a better advocate for myself. But this story isn't over yet. I'm going to continue to push my limits, hopefully continuing to write a post or two along the way. I've got about 9 posts in the queue going back to 2019 that have never been completed - I think maybe 5 of those would still be interesting and relevant. I'll look to get some of these out over the next few months.
I no longer bike Preston St, but I was reflective for most my bike ride home today. So many of you have inspired and supported me over the years and I hope that I can continue to do the same for you. Friends have come and gone but I am thankful for those that have stuck with me through the rough times. But I am most thankful for the support of my family (most notably my spouse as she progresses through her own concussion recovery, thanks for nothing WSIB). My family and especially my kids have provided me the support that I need and the inspiration and motivation to get me where I am today in my recovery.
Some important dates occur this week:
- September 22-28, 2024 is National Concussion Awareness Week.
- September 25, 2024 is Rowan's Law Day.
[Photo by istockphoto]